Tag Archives: Blonde Jokes

Free Trip to Italy

Cartoon - Ship to ItalyA young blond woman from New York was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean; but just before she could throw herself from the docks, a handsome young man stopped her.

“You have so much to live for,” said the man. “I’m a sailor, and we are off to Italy tomorrow. I can stow you away on my ship. I’ll take care of you, bring you food every day, and keep you happy.” With nothing to lose, combined with the fact that she had always wanted to go to Italy, the woman accepted.

That night the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a small but comfortable compartment in the ship’s hold. From then on, every night he would bring her three sandwiches, a bottle of red wine, and make love to her until dawn.

Three weeks later the blond was discovered by the captain during a routine inspection. “What are you doing here?” asked the captain.

“I have an arrangement with one of the sailors,” she replied. “He brings me food and I get a free trip to Italy.”

“I see,” the captain says.

Her conscience got the best of her, and she added, “Plus, he’s screwing me.”

“He certainly is,” replied the captain. “This is the ferry to Ellis Island.”

How to Get a Sick Day

light bulb idea

I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew my boss would not allow me to take leave. I thought that maybe if I acted crazy he would tell me to take a few days off. So I hung upside-down on the ceiling.

My co-worker, who’s blonde, asked me what I was doing. I explained that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the boss would think I was crazy and give me some time off.

A few minutes later the boss came into the office and asked, “What in the name of God are you doing?”

I told him I was a light bulb.

He said, “You are clearly stressed out. Go home and rest for a couple of days.”

I jumped down and headed out of the office. When my blonde co-worker followed me toward the door, the boss asked her, “…and where do you think you’re going?”

She said, “I’m going home, too. I can’t work in the dark.”